Monday, February 1, 2016

"OMG! I Think I'll Dress To Attract a White Boy"
(Said no black woman EVER)

I was having a discussion with a white gentleman (if I can even call him that) about interracial dating (is that even a real phenomenon since race "doesn't exist"?). He said to me, and I quote; "Well, maybe if they'd stop wearing those long fingernails--I mean how can they get any work done? We don't like that...and the weave too."



There just sooo much for me to unpack here.
I just can't. So I won't. Nah. I will. I said: "What makes you think women are saying to themselves, you know, I think I want to scoop me up a little Johnny, so I won't get my nails bedazzled this time Sui Ying, just give me the natural-catch-a-white-boy set..."

SECONDLY: "I thought we were discussing BLACK WOMEN not some stereotypical fantasy media served buffoonery you've secretly fetishized in your head--No just no."
LASTLY: "And even if a singular black woman chose to have long Godzilla nails (and I know a few who do) so the fuck what? Aint nobody waking up in the morning and saying 'OMG! I think I'll dress to attract a white boy today'!" #GiveMeABreak

And so it goes--the sentiments in this country regarding black women. We're loud, attitudinal, long fingernails and colorful weave. Wait, when Becky does it she's "alternative" when Sharkeisha does it, it's "ghetto". Are these the stereotypes that are holding us back from interracial dating? Then fine. So be it.

It's not even just a problem beladen on the shoulders of black women--its women of every ethnicity in this country--its as if women are on display for the sole gratification of men. I get it you like what you like. BUT, Its the stereotypes that have been fed to you, that you actually bought into without investigating for yourself that disturbs me.

Don't worry we have our stereotypes about you as well--and some of us have investigated and found it to be true ;-) But I'm not here to go tit-for-tat.

Let's analyze my theory for why there isn't more interracial dating. More than anything subculture is a means that divides us--in good and bad ways. Its called a Double Consciousness. Double Consciousness is a term coined by W. E. B. Du Bois to describe an individual whose identity is divided into several facets. As a theoretical tool, “double consciousness” reveals the psycho-social divisions in American society and allows for a full understanding of those divisions. (DuBois, Souls of Black Folks)

For a long period of time black people were not allowed to fully participate in mainstream American culture. Slave masters deprived Africans of their cultural customs by enacting slave codes. Therefore they had to navigate in unfamiliar territory by cultivating this new culture. Black Culture.

The assorted stereotypes of being "loud", good at dancing, fixing elaborate hairstyles, being lyrical, good cooks, etc. These are all Africanisms, characteristics of African culture that can be traced through societal practices and institutions of the African diaspora. Of course they are exaggerated for the entertainment of people who are not apart of the movement. That's why it's called a STEREO-type. The type has some truth but the stereo exaggerates and warps the truth into a tacky version of its former self.

Instead of balking at colorful weaves and its apparent "tackiness", we should be trying to understand the history. African women have been weaving and locking their hair as part of a cultural custom.

Another white wonderment; Why do some black people have a slight propensity at being lyrical artists? In many African societies there was no formal written language (actually up until 770BC Europe also did not have a written language until the Romans borrowed from the Phoenicians and the Phoenicians from AFRICAN Hieroglyphics) West African cultures used Griots to pass down oral history. Stories and rituals were beaten on drums in special synchronizations with body movements. Hence our seemingly natural love of beats and freestyling.

I'm being very loose and anecdotal here but do you get my drift? Of course, these stereotypes and Africanisms do not apply to EVERY single black person. Every black person is not going to be a good, beat boxing, dancing, rapping, shuckin n jivin negro. These are cultural mannerisms and customs passed down from generation to generation. This is why there is a serious need for cross cultural education. In school we learn so much about European culture and customs (which by the way are derived from Africa) that when it comes to Africanisms they seem foreign to us.

Some stereotypes exist because of appalling reasons. For instance, the alleged propensity for black men to be good at sports. Theory has it that slave masters made enslaved African women breed with the strongest men in an attempt to yield the strongest "buck".

OK lets get it out the way. The Mandingo theory. Yes its true--somewhat--by .1 inches -_- according to a Kinsey Report in the 1970s which included only 54 black men and 3000 white men in the USA.
However, according to one Global report produced by EveryoneWeb the Democratic Republic of Congo has the largest average erect length at 7.1 inches compared to the world average of 5.5 inches.

I hope I have inspired someone to expand their curiosity outside the box of their limited scope. #LetItMarinate

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