Friday, October 11, 2019

Perception is YOUR Reality

Yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day and I’ve been thinking about how the lens in which we view the world is probably distorted due to life experiences, biology, genetics, trauma and most importantly UNRESOLVED mental illness.

Recently I watched the Joker (2019) movie starring Joaquin Phoenix, a brilliant story on mental health and distorted perceptions. I wonder if those murdering, gun-toting domestic terrorists might suffer from a similar disposition because they haven’t been able to unpack their issues--maybe they don’t even perceive those murderous ideologies as problematic.

In some cases, it seems their perception differed so much from reality and went unchecked because their loved one’s perceptions of them were also distorted. 

It’s important for us to sometimes look outside of ourselves, acknowledge our biases to understand how we perceive things and checking in to make sure it’s healthy and in line with what is actually going on.

I liken a Distorted Perception and Implicit Bias to be one in the same. According to researchers, Implicit Bias is the unconscious attribution of particular qualities to a member of a certain social group. Or also in my definition, the negative perception of a people because of exposure to stereotypes reinforced by media and zealous rhetoric.

A Distorted Perception can be the same: You perceive your neighbor’s dog (and all dogs in general) to be dangerous because of a dog attack incident in your childhood. You perceive (your neighbor, a black men) to be dangerous because of a (purse snatching) incident in your childhood.

It doesn’t mean however that all perceptions that diverge from reality should be considered incredulous. A healthy fear of recognizing that a dog still has animal instincts can be garnered; A healthy awareness of your surroundings and securing your belongings is OK. But if you let those warped perceptions invite prejudice or negative actions, you are crossing over a line into a more insidious territory.

You may not even recognize these issues—hence where regular mental health therapy sessions can be beneficial. As it was for me in my college years.

Nine years ago, on Halloween I was raped by a man in a hoodie. EVERY single time I see a black man in a hoodie--I get triggered. It got so bad that one day I unknowingly treated a man unfairly. When I mentioned the situation to my therapist she helped me unpack that bias and I had an epiphany. Through therapy, I’ve learned to mitigate my bias.  My therapist asked me to monitor my heart rate while people watching at a park. Sure enough, every man in a hoodie triggered a negative response. I now must counter that perception with some mental gymnastics and a reality check. Doesn’t mean I’m not still triggered--it just means I’ve recognized the perception is problematic and I have to work a little harder to mitigate that.  

Don’t think for one moment that I am trying to devalue your human experience and range of resulting emotions. Your perception is a real sensation for you, the emotions that result are real. You should own them, go through the motions and diplomatically speak up if you feel unsafe or are experiencing injustice.

But also recognize that if your perception is significantly divergent from reality it can cause a rift in relationships and your livelihood. For example, you make numerous complaints to animal control on your neighbor’s dog because he sniffs your petunias during walks, thusly alienating a potential friendship; Or you call the police on a black man for barbecuing at the park, thusly being the laughing stock and memes of social media. (no shade) lol

Perception is YOUR Reality, here are a few tips to consider from Psychologist, Jim Taylor, PhD in PsychologyToday:
  • Don’t assume that your perceptions are reality (just your reality)
  • Be respectful of others’ perceptions (they may be right)
  • Don’t hold your perceptions too tightly; they may be wrong (admitting it takes courage)
  • Recognize the distortions within you that may warp your perceptions (seeing them will better ground your perceptions in reality rather than the other way around)
  • Challenge your perceptions (do they hold up under the microscope of reality?)
  • Seek out validation from experts and credible others (don’t just ask your friends because they likely have the same perceptions as you)
  • Be open to modifying your perceptions if the preponderance of evidence demands it (rigidity of mind is far worse than being wrong)

Let it marinate!

Friday, July 19, 2019

Doesn't Matter

I am the mutha fuckin SHIT!
I am too legit to quit!
So I think--Hey! Hey!

But that shit don’t matter.

You could be the queen of England with a golden pussy on a platter…
None of that shit would matter.

You could cook, sheave, clean.
Be his black queen. Rub his back, tell him he’s the shit.
Be his peace, give him laughter.
But to an undeserving nigga, none of that shit really matters.

You could spin around keep the dick still inside, stroke his egostick on a magic carpet ride.
And STILL that shit wouldn’t even matter

He could have his cake, have his way with your heart on a stake.
Throw two shits to the wind, where oh where do I begin?
You thought yo ass was up to the plate, first batter.
Haha, think again bitch—doesn’t matter!

You tried to come in—like a wrecking ball.
Thwarting and wreaking havoc on his emotional walls.
I am woman! Hear me nurture. Receive my Love!
With you, I can see a future baby daddy….
BLOOP! Think Again—Doesn’t matter Hoe!

Girl, let me tell you…You got sooo much love to give. Why not lend your talents to someone deserving. Someone who isn’t broken, and ready to receive all your gifts and swanky things.

But I know your type, the HGTV fixer upper woman of hype. You love the potter’s house game. Ignoring the shame of entangling your emotions on a deserted love ocean because you like to tame. 

The irony of your pangs, is that you’re alone in the blame for the pieces of your heart you must clatter.

Cause really…HE doesn’t matter…

Maybe you shoulda got with the Nutty Professor sis...he'd appreciate you lol

Monday, December 10, 2018

Low Carb Huevos Rancheros Recipe

Since starting a Keto Diet in June or 2018, I've lost roughly 15lbs, I'm sharing my journey on an instagram page entitled "Dining While Keto"  and Ive also created a list of Keto Friendly Restaurants on Yelp.

I wasn't a carbivore before starting this diet but some of my carby favorites like: Tortillas, Pizza, Rice and Plantains were not easy to replace. I've found equitable or even better tasting substitutes but the one thing I missed was Corn Tortillas, specifically Tacos and Huevos Ranchero. Almond Flour and Egg Tortillas just didnt cut it. And the CarbSmart flour tortillas were good but it wasnt an equal to the corn version.

I searched the internet high and low for a susceptible version of my favorite breakfast food, Huevos Rancheros but came up with the aforementioned egg/almond flour versions. Then a lightbulb went off in my head: I'd have to create my own version!

So here it is, my favorite breakfast recipe: Huevos Rancheros

This recipe doesn't call for the traditional Rancheros sauce, but the Beef Chorizo is a formidable companion in this dish.

Kassie's Keto Huevos Rancheros

Serves 2 people


Handful (1/2 c.) of finely shredded Monterey Jack Cheese per shell

4 Large Brown Eggs 

Step 1
Buy or make Avocado (or regular) Pico De Gallo according to linked directions. Set aside in fridge.

Step 2
Cook Beef Chorizo according to package directions. Set Aside

Step 3
Using a non stick pan free of blemishes or defect (I like using ceramic coated pan) on medium high heat grab a handful (1/2 cup or more) of shredded Monterey Jack Cheese and place in the center of pan in a circle about the size of a small tortilla. You can click here to see the technique. Fry until melted and golden, flip and fry the other side. Repeat 3 more times to make 2 shells per person.

Step 4
Plate two fried cheese shells per person.

Step 5
Take two spoonfuls of the beef chorizo and spread on each cheese shell

Step 6
Cook egg to your preference: Poached, Scrambled, Over Easy or my personal favorite Sunny Side Up. Place egg on top of the chorizo topped cheese shell.

Step 7
Take 1/4 cup of the Pico and place on top or off center of the egg

Step 8
Drizzle Avocado Cream Sauce

Net Carbs per one Huevos: 7g

I like to accompany this with a mimosa (splash of OJ only) and a side salad.
I may update this with some more step-by-step photos. 

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