I just had a realization tonight as I was memorizing one of my poems for an upcoming Open Mic Night, this Sunday April 13th, 630pm at the Barbara Ying Center at UCF. You know I gotta self promote. Nevertheless, I digress.
My pessismesticism is that in order for me memorize something I need to like it. Well, I havent really fallen in love with my poetry. I came to this conclusion tonight. If I were an average Joe jut reading my own poetry, Id be like "Ehh its aiight"
But people are telling me all the time that its good.
They tell me, Kass, this is amazing to grasp.
You have a way with words.
Youre point is stern.
Youve got the poetic word looks,
Now you should be writing books.
I brush them off.
I should charge, but at what cost?
They tell me its Good.
Which makes me believe I should.
But when I look at these words.
Marking my point with poetic burns.
I dont see what I should yearn.
My words mean nothing as they are in black and white.
But in my head they come off as strife.
Somehow seeing them in real life.
Doesnt bring the issues to light.
Yet they read, relate, and always seem to state;
"This is too good to rate"
I double check the page.
Or take a look at the gage.
I sense nothing to amaze.
They tell me its good.
I wanna believe it, I should.
I want them to see me as legit.
But when I look at the page, I dont see shit.